CHECKLIST FOR SELF-REPS

“IF THEY SAY X, YOU SAY Y”

A one-page printable tactical script.

If THEY say "X", YOU respond with "Y."

A Quick-Response Sheet for Courtroom Use

If/when you finally get to court, the other side (or their lawyer) is very likely to say a few things that bear minimal alignment to observed reality (facts). They might do this deliberately, or they simply might not have the context or information. Either way, be prepared for something like the following.

This is a bit tongue-in-cheek, with some of the examples (and they are examples only), but the bottom line is that you need to be prepared in advance before you go to court or mediation.

Download this.

Modify it to suit your circumstances.

Keep it in your folder.

Use it whenever the other side utters nonsense.

1. “There is an ongoing police investigation.”

YOU MIGHT SAY:

“Your Honour, that is incorrect.

Police have confirmed in writing that no investigation exists.”

2. “My client provided material.”

DEPENDING ON CIRCUMSTANCES, YOU MIGHT RESPOND:

“Your Honour, no such material has been filed or served.

The applicant has not complied with the court’s directions.”

3. “We need more time because the matter is complex.”

YOU SAY:

“Your Honour, the applicant has had ample time and multiple extensions.

Continued delay prejudices me.”

4. “The respondent is refusing settlement/mediation/cooperation.”

YOU SAY:

“Your Honour, that is incorrect.

I have repeatedly offered to engage on [dates].

I can tender correspondence.”

5. “The respondent is dangerous/intimidating/aggressive.”

YOU SAY:

“Your Honour, that is an unsubstantiated assertion with no evidence.

I ask that the Court rely on facts, not characterisations.”

6. “There are five days of evidence-in-chief.”

YOU SAY:

“Your Honour, the applicant has not filed any of that material.

There is nothing before the Court.”

7. “We believe there may be a conflict.”

YOU SAY:

“Your Honour, that is speculation.

The applicant’s representative cannot identify a document or date.

It should be given no weight.”

8. “This was provided to police.”

YOU SAY:

“Your Honour, there is no evidence of that.

The Court should not accept unsworn statements about external investigations.”

9. “We need the court closed for privacy/comfort.”

YOU SAY:

“Your Honour, I oppose any application to close the Court.

Open justice is a constitutional requirement in Chapter 3 of the Australian Constitution, except in narrow circumstances.”

10. “The respondent’s evidence is voluminous/confusing/excessive.”

YOU SAY:

“Your Honour, everything I have filed complies with the rules.

It is properly indexed and supported by exhibits.”

11. “The applicant is overwhelmed / distressed / struggling.”

YOU SAY:

“Your Honour, emotional statements cannot excuse non-compliance with court orders.

The directions must be followed.”

12. “We need to adjourn because my client is ill / unprepared / unavailable.”

YOU SAY:

“Your Honour, repeated failure to comply is prejudicial.

The applicant has had [X] months to prepare and has not met a single deadline.”

13. “This will prejudice future criminal proceedings.”

YOU SAY:

“Your Honour, that is irrelevant in a civil matter unless charges exist. There are none.”

14. “The respondent’s version is disputed.”

YOU SAY:

“Your Honour, the applicant may dispute it, but they have filed no evidence. Assertions from the bar table are not evidence.”

15. “We intend to rely on documents we don’t have yet.”

YOU SAY:

“Your Honour, evidence must be filed and served. Nothing exists for me to respond to.”

How to Use the Toolkit and Checklist Together

1. Toolkit = your strategy.

2. Checklist = your quick-response script.

Use the checklist in court.

Not verbatim, and DON'T read from your checklist. Just be prepared.

Use the toolkit when preparing and reviewing transcripts.

This combination will make you:

• harder to mislead

• harder to intimidate

• harder to gaslight

• and far more credible than the lawyers around you

Magistrates silently respect self-represented litigants (SRLs) who are precise, evidence-based, and consistent.

You have all three.